Reviews

Weezer got me through my first year of high school. I discovered them in the midst of a gigantic biology project and for about 14 straight hours of typing up classifications of animals, I listened to "The Blue Album" and "Pinkerton" non-stop. I fell in love with those them, they made my world seem less terrible. The "Green Album" came out two weeks after that, and being the young fledgling fan that I was, I embraced it for what it was. And compared to "Make Believe", "The Green Album" looks like "Pinkerton." Interesting note, I heard that Rivers actually threw up after recording the songs for these albums because they were so terrible. Why didn't he just throw in the towel? Why plague longtime fans with this!
 
It is every bit as bad as I am going to tell you it is.
 
THIS IS THE WORST ALBUM THAT I HAVE HEARD IN MY ENTIRE LIFE.
 
What makes it the worst is that I know what Weezer was once capable of and what they have become. I almost wonder if they made this album as a joke, you know, an elaborate ruse with a "Just kidding!" sticker taped to the disc. No, it is not. This is just plain bad music. It is faceless trash made to be played alongside Ashley Simpson or whatever qualifies as music on MTV.
 
Don't trick yourself into thinking that this gets better with each listen. We all know how bad "The Green Album" and "Maladroit" really were, but they are nowhere near as bad as this.
 
I hardly know what to call it. This music is fake, manufactured, and emotionless.It expresses nothing.
 
When I heard the single "Beverly Hills", I knew what I was in for. I don't know WHY I expected something better, given their constant rate of decline. The song plays like a novelty, "Where I come from isn't all that great/ my automobile is a piece of crap/ my fashion sense is a little whack".
 
Why am I listening to this?
WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY.
 
I need to stop before I have an aneurysm. There is not a single good thing about this. Not one. Is this the shit Rivers would write about when he locked himself in his room?! Everything about it is everything that is wrong with music today.
 
"You're my best friend, and I love you."
-A Simple Plan.. I mean Weezer.
 
 (guest review: Ian from punkunited.com)