Reviews

What the fuck? Why didn't you call it "Chinese Democracy" like you said. When I read months ago that the Offspring planned to steal Axl Rose's Guns n' Roses long album never coming's album title, I was impressed. Hell, I'd give this trashy record an extra point just for that, but no. They wuss out and settle for "Splinter." I used to love this band so hard. One of the first punk bands that I ever heard, "Americana" was my album when I was like, fourteen. Maybe It's always been like this.
It's pretty laughable that the band hasn't had a single that wasn't a joke since "Ixnay to the Hombre," I believe. "Pretty Fly for a White Guy," "Original Prankster," and now "Hit That." "Hit That" is so annoyingly catchy in that way that you just want to break whoever created it. When Dexter's voice get's to like "When I'M on a roll" that note he hits, makes me cringe. Then in the background you can hear Josh Freese's talents going to waste. The music is just boring. Nothing new, nothing creative. Just put out because it's been a couple years. AFI had the right idea and changed, but it's too late for the Offspring. They're gettin' old. This sounds like a swan song, except the swan is gagging.

I can tell that the lyrics are going to suck with such titles as "Race Against Myself," and "The Worst Hangover Ever." All of the songs sound the same...all of the songs sound like the last two albums, but what can you expect. And really, I didn't want to make this into an attack on the Offspring, I'm just saying that the jig is up and they made a really shitty record. The old drummer Ron had the right idea, he saw the ship sinking and salvaged some respect. "Went out drinking last night and I had a blast, but now the morning light has come to kick my ass. I've got the worst hangover ever, I'm crawling to the bathroom again, it hurts so bad that I'm never gonna drink again." You just rhymed again with again. Read that line. FUCKING READ IT. Don't skim, that's reason enough. I don't care if it's a joke, if it is, it isn't funny. READ THE LINE. READ READ. Ok. I don't care about your fucking hangover, I'll kill you if you want Dex. I hope you get a nice car from all the dumb kids that will still pay for this shit.
This makes me yearn for my copy of "The Terror State."   (guest review: Ian from Punkunited.com)