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Avril Lavigne Is A Fucking Moron

Posted by Eddie Cash on Friday, September 7, 2007 at 7:47 AM

I'm keeping with the trash news for a little bit, but just to show you why you turned to punk rock in the first place... to get away from shit like this.  You're welcome.  Apparently Avril Lavigne compiled a list of 10 Commandments about living life.  If you need a good laugh, please read further.  And Deryck Whibley married this twit?  Her box better shoot out sunbeams of gold.

 

The following is from England's Q Magazine:

 

DEAL WITH IT. Selling 24 million albums hasn't really affected me, but it has changed things. I can't walk into a room full of people any more without everybody turning their heads, and I can only eat in certain restaurants where I know I won't get hassled. But that's OK. I was born to do this, and so I've learned how to cope.

DEVELOP AN IMAGE. Someone like Kelly Clarkson is beautiful and has a pretty voice, but with me you get a much stronger image. I'm tough, I have a look that girls want to copy, and I sound a particular way. It's good if you're not easily ignored. And I'm not.

DON'T GET MAD, GET EVEN. I was 17 when my first album (Let Go, 2002) came out, and all of a sudden I had to spend my days doing interviews. Listen, when you are 17 you don't know how to hold a conversation with an adult, and you pretty much don't want to. But I learned to channel that annoyance into my music.

PARTY HARD. BUT NOT TOO HARD. When I go to a party, I am the party! I'm the girl doing shots, jumping on tables, screaming and getting wasted. Am I advocating drugs? No! When I say get wasted, that doesn't mean go crazy. Drink in moderation. Be responsible, yeah?

 

PRACTISE GOOD KARMA. I am a very giving person. When the hurricane thing happened (in New Orleans, August 2005) I went to my close, filled six boxes of stuff and said to my assistant, "take it to Katrina!" I also like to give stuff to people who are my "workers", especially if they don't make much money.

BE GRATEFUL. It's important to be thankful, even if you're poor. I mean, come on, we all have clean water - well, ok, not people in the developing world. It's important to remember where we came from and just how lucky we are to be here.

ADVOCATE SPIRITUALITY. I'm not particularly religious, but I am spiritual. What kind? Feng shui, mostly, and energy. I'm good at picking up people's energy, like I'm receptive or something.

FINDING MR RIGHT. I got married last year (to Deryck Whibley of Sum 41) simply because I was lucky enough to find the right guy. Did I tame him (Whibley once confessed to a fondness for mushrooms and ecstasy)? Hey, we were both party animals once, so we've tamed each other.

EXTEND YOURSELF. I want to get into movies next, a lead role in a super cool indie flick. I've been looking at scripts for the past two years now and most of them have been shit, but I know I could be real good at it. I have an agent now, and everything.

LOVE YOURSELF. People love me and people hate me, but I'm comfortable in my own skin and that's what counts. And anyway, if you do hate me, you're the loser, not me.